zebra3performanceIt is virtually impossible not to transmit your doubts and insecurities to others through body language, tone of voice, inflection, word choice, and other subtle characteristics. When you show by your actions that you lack self-confidence, other people also begin to doubt your ability to perform. You can gain the respect and confidence of others. Begin by making a list of all the things you like about yourself and the things you would like to change. Make a conscious effort to build upon your positive strengths and correct your weaknesses. It may not be easy, but if you assess yourself objectively and persevere in your efforts, you will eventually prevail.
Rules for Accurate Thinking
by Napoleon Hill
Now I will give you seven rules to follow which, if you memorize them and follow them as a daily habit, may bring you top-rating as an ACCURATE THINKER.
1. Never accept the opinions of other people as being facts until you have learned the source of those opinions and satisfied yourself of their accuracy.
2. Remember that FREE ADVICE, no matter from whom it is received, will bear the closest of examination before it is acted upon as safe, and generally speaking this sort of advice is worth exactly what it costs.
3. Alert yourself immediately when you hear anyone speaking of others in a discourteous or slanderous spirit because this very fact should put you on notice that what you are hearing is BIASED to say the least about it, and it may be out and out misstatements.
4. In asking others for information DO NOT DISCLOSE TO THEM WHAT YOU WISH THE INFORMATION TO BE, because most people have the bad habit of trying to please under such circumstances. Well measured, tactful questions can be of great benefit to you in THINKING ACCURATELY.
5. Remember that ANYTHING WHICH EXISTS ANYWHERE THROUGHOUT THE UNIVERSE IS CAPABLE OF PROOF, and where no such proof is available it is safer to assume that NOTHING EXISTS!
6. One of the great inexplicable miracles consists in the fact that both truth and false-hood, no matter by what means they may be expressed, carry with them silent, invisible means of identifying themselves as such. Therefore, remember this truth and begin developing the necessary intuitive faculty to enable you to “sense” what is false and what is true.
7. Follow the habit of asking “HOW DO YOU KNOW?” when anyone makes a statement you cannot identify as true. Follow this habit faithfully and you will see many persons squirm and turn red in the face when you insist upon a direct reply.
The most ACCURATE THINKERS are the scientists. They investigate with open minds and never allow their WISHES TO BECOME THE FATHERS OF FACTS, but deal with each fact as it is – not as they would like it to be.
Now, one final word of warning I feel I should leave with you: STUDY YOURSELF CAREFULLY AND YOU MAY DISCOVER THAT YOUR OWN EMOTIONS ARE YOUR GREATEST HANDICAP IN THE BUSINESS OF ACCURATE THINKING. It is easy to believe that which you wish to believe, and unfortunately that is precisely what most people do!
3 Toxic work behaviors
1. Assume it’s all about you.
“People are toxic to be around when they believe that everything that happens in life is a direct assault on them or is in some way all about them,” writes Kathy Caprino at LinkedIn. “The reality is that what people say and do to you is much more about them, than you. People’s reactions to you are about their filters, and their perspectives, wounds and experiences. Whether people think you’re amazing, or believe you’re the worst, again, it’s more about them. ”
2. Take credit for work that isn’t your own.
Remember the classic 1980s workplace comedy Working Girl? Sigourney Weaver’s character takes credit for Melanie Griffith’s work, and winds up getting fired. As well she should have. Not only was she a monster on the interpersonal relationship level, but she was terrible at her job, even in the corporate raider, go-go-go atmosphere of the ’80s.
Why was she bad at her job? Because when workers steal their colleagues’ ideas, they not only show that they’re not able to think up their own. They also cut off their team from real contact with the person who actually made the plan in the first place. In short, it’s not just bad karma: it’s a waste of everyone’s time.
3. Think negatively.
It’s easy to get into less-than-positive thought patterns, especially when things are stressful at work. The problem is that negative thinking can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Plus, once you get into the habit of expecting everything to go wrong, it’s hard to get out of it. And that means that it’s easy to overlook opportunity when it arrives.
We all experience rare moments when a blinding revelation comes to us, when we suddenly see things differently than ever before. Usually, however, we learn the truth about ourselves gradually, over long periods of time, from quiet introspection. We are all spiritual, but some of us have learned to tap more effectively into the great strength that resides in the spiritual portion of ourselves. The spirit is not boisterous and noisy. Getting in touch with your spiritual self demands tranquility and solitude. Make sure you dedicate a portion of every day to thought and study, to think and reflect upon your life. Choose a time and place that best allow you to relax your mind and devote your thoughts to reflection.
Far too many people spend their entire lives waiting for that glorious day when the perfect opportunity presents itself to them. Too late, they realize that each day held opportunity for those who sought it out. If you have not formulated a plan for what you would like to accomplish in your life, don’t waste another minute. When you have Definiteness of Purpose fueled by a burning desire to reach your objectives, nothing can stand in your way. Don’t wait around waiting for life to happen to you. When you know what you want and how you expect to earn it, life will agree to your terms, not the other way around.
Remember that the tone of your voice often conveys more accurately what is in your mind than do your words.
In a moment of conflict, a suggestion or compromise can salvage a threatened working relationship. A discouraged employee can be motivated again through a few carefully chosen words. In situations like these, a good manager is looking beyond an immediate situation and acting to preserve a future benefit. But if your voice betrays your own anger, fear, or despair, that emotion, not the wisdom you offer, will be what others remember. Those who rise to the top in any organization are those who have learned to control their emotions. When you have a leadership position, others will watch you closely for the signals you send. You must learn to manage yourself and all the ways in which you convey messages to others if you want to inspire them and demonstrate that you care about all the members of your team.
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